When my child is gay

What do we do when our children choose to follow a lifestyle we cannot endorse? What do Christian parents do when their children choose to follow a homosexual lifestyle, a lifestyle of sin according to the Word of God? We live in a time when many Christian parents’ hearts are broken and torn between their love for their gay child and their love for God and His law. 


Jesus said, “Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother…” (Luke 12:51-53)


When our children choose a path different from the way we showed and taught them according to the Word of God, we are in fact divided. This is heart-breaking to any parent. We cannot stand to be alienated or separated from our children. It is an unbearable situation. Yet, to Christian parents, it is also unthinkable to turn your back on God and His laws. Our children on the one side and God on the other – a real dilemma for many.


Often, parents have one of two reactions. Firstly, many parents do cut off their children. They will not speak to them again. They will not welcome them into their homes and they disown them. The pain that this causes both sides is immense. Secondly, parents often choose to change their interpretation of God’s law. They take the stand that the Bible is wrongly interpreted on the subject of homosexuality and that it is actually acceptable to God. By doing this, they don’t have to be divided against their children or against God anymore, they can be united to their child and to God. But God and His Word is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. We cannot change Him or His Word at our whim. His law is eternal. 


Then what is the right thing to do? What can a parent do is such a situation? The truth is that once you have trained your children in the way that they should go, it is up to them to make their own decisions. Proverbs 22:6 says that if we have trained them God’s way, when they are old, they will not turn from it. When it thus seems that our children have chosen against God, we pray and we trust as we continue to live a life of truth and worship God.


Furthermore, Galatians 5:22-23 says this: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Even when a child chooses a path against the law of God, let the Christian parent continue to do those things against which there is no law. Do not withhold love, be ever filled with joy and stay in His perfect peace, show patience, kindness and gentleness. Act with self-control and continue and be faithful in doing good also to your child.


As it is your child's choice to obey God's law or not, it is your own choice to continue to live our the life of holiness and love to which you were called or not. A wrong never rights a wrong but we fight evil with good.


My prayer today is for every parent who finds him or herself in this situation, that God will strengthen you and guide you and cover you in His abundant grace on this difficult road.
God bless

Lize

Supreme Court legalizes same-sex marriages: The Secret Power of Lawlessness

World-wide, an ever smaller group of Christians was once again upset when the Supreme Court in the United States of America ruled that same-sex marriages are now legalized in all 50 of its states, while human rights organizations celebrated this as a victory for humanity.

While for me, as a Christian, the increasing acceptance and legalization of a homosexual lifestyle is truly upsetting, it is not that surprising or baffling. Indeed it is the realization of what Paul warned against in his letter to the Thessalonians:

“For the secret power of lawlessness is already at work; but the one who now holds it back will continue to do so till he is taken out of the way. And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will overthrow with the breath of his mouth and destroy by the splendor of his coming. The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with the work of Satan displayed in all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders, and in every sort of evil that deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.”

(2 Thessalonians 2:7-12)

The key concept in this passage is lawlessness. The original Greek word ‘anomia’, used in this passage, indicates the condition of being without law because of being ignorant of it or because of violating it. It thus acknowledges the existence of a law that is not being obeyed and the results thereof, also indicated in the original meaning of the word, are iniquity and wickedness.

When Paul mentions the condition of lawlessness, he is not referring to the violation of (good or bad) man-made laws but the violation of the law of God.  It is all about obeying and accepting the law of God or opposing and disobeying the law of God. Rightly so, he ultimately links this rebellion to God’s law to the work of Satan. The lawless one who will act in accordance to the work of Satan will ‘set himself up in God’s temple, proclaiming himself to be God’ (Verse 4).

This is Satan’s ancient desire - to be the great ‘I AM’. Isaiah 14:13-14 portrays this evil desire of his: 

“You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.”

This desire to be the great ‘I AM’ he passed on to mankind when, in the Garden of Eden, he tempted Eve with the thought of being ‘like God’ into first doubting and then disobeying His law. Since that day, man has set himself up against God and has rebelled against His law. In its place, man has put a new law – I am and I am entitled, and I am in my own right. In the absence of God’s law in their lives, these ‘lawless people’ are given over to the desires of their flesh. What they want, whatever pleases them becomes their right and their law. They claim the right to decide for themselves what is wrong and what is right, what is good and what is bad. This is true for the decisions they make regarding their relationships, whether it is ok to live together or not, have an extra-marital relationship or not. It holds for financial decisions – whether to pay a bribe or not, whether to pay the correct taxes or not. It affects all everyday life decisions. There is no more one standard. Each decides his or her own right and wrong. This is the effect of lawlessness.  

Lawless man even puts himself above God. In the face of one's human rights, one can now determine ‘what’ and ‘who’ you want God to be. And whatever whoever ascribes to God is accepted as right for him/her as long as it does not offend the right of anyone else. In such a climate there is no place for one specific Truth, Law, Name, Savior and God. 

Paul rightly also spoke of the ‘secret power’ of this lawlessness. It is powerful in its delusion. It is powerful in sounding so good and righteous. It is powerful in speaking to the desires of the flesh. It is powerful in the absence of any need for a sacrifice of self. It is powerful in promoting the ‘I’ above God.  And it gains strength as more and more people adhere to this new law of lawlessness honored as basic human rights and more and more people start to doubt God and follow the loud voice of the world.  

And therefore, as Paul says in 2 Thessalonians, because people have refused to accept God’s truths and laws, He has sent them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and be condemned. Romans 1:24 confirms:

“Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served created things rather than the Creator…Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another.” 

Let everybody who has ears, listens to what the great I AM says:

“Dear children, do not let anybody lead you astray. He who does what is right is righteous, just as he (God) is righteous. He who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work. No one who is born of God will continue to sin…”

(1 John 3:7-9)

While the world celebrates, let those who still hold to the truths of God be encouraged by the words of Paul at the end of 2 Thessalonians 2:

“So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you…May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.”

Love thy neighbor even when you don’t like him?

It’s one thing to talk about loving thy neighbor as a concept but it is another thing altogether when faced with the reality of a ‘neighbor’ whom you don’t like or even despise. How do I love someone when everything he does is in stark contrast with the principles I believe in? How do I love my neighbor who is a drunkard and abuses his family? Even more problematic, how do I love someone who has harmed me or my loved ones? Is it really possible to do?

Well, the answer is yes and no. No it is not possible in the flesh. Our flesh lives by an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. It seeks vengeance and claims self-righteousness. Its fruit of hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions and envy makes it difficult to love even a loveable neighbor let alone one we can’t stand at all.

Yet in Christ, the answer is yes. When I belong to Christ and receive newness of life from Him, loving thy neighbor is no longer about who the other person is but about who I am in Christ. In Christ I am no longer led by my flesh and its desires, but by the Holy Spirit. The love I am now able to show my neighbor is not the fruit of the flesh but the fruit of the Spirit.

Jesus said that we should love one another, love our neighbor and even more…love our enemies. You might say ‘love’ is a strong word…perhaps too strong. I cannot possibly love someone who has harmed me or my loved ones in the same way I love my child or my spouse or my friends. Surely I can’t be best friends with such an offender!

Indeed no! But we can show the love set out in 1 Corinthians 13. It is not a love that asks of us to like anybody or to be best friends with anybody but it is a love that asks of us to crucify the self and allow Christ to shine through us. So let us go to 1 Corinthians 13 to see what this love is that we should and can show all our fellow men irrespective of how we feel about them:

Firstly, love is patient and love is kind. To be patient is to be longsuffering, to be patient in bearing the offenses and injuries of others, to be mild and slow in avenging, slow to anger and slow to punish. Kindness is an attitude shown in our actions and our words. Furthermore, love does not envy, does not boast and is not proud. Indeed we cannot look down on any other person because our righteousness is not ours but that of Christ. Love is also not rude or self-seeking. It is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs and does not delight in evil.

All of these are things we can show towards any other person irrespective of whether we like them or not, whether we approve of their lifestyle or not. Our actions are not determined by them or by our flesh but by the Spirit of Christ.

No matter how we feel about our fellow man, we must be of the same mind of Christ whose first coming was not to harm or judge but to teach and to save. When a Samaritan village would not welcome Jesus, his disciples asked Him if they could call for fire from heaven to destroy them but Jesus rebuked them saying: “For the Son of man is not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them.” (Luke 9:56) This should be our attitude as well. Not to destroy people, but to save people. We still live in the year of the Lord’s favor.

There is a time for everything and when Jesus returns, He will do so as the Judge and there will be a day of vengeance. But now it is our time to love our neighbor with the love shown to us by Christ. Not a love that ignores wrong, not a love that prevents justice but a love that is longsuffering and kind and that rejoices in truth rather than evil.

God bless,

Lize

Love thy neighbor

This is perhaps the one phrase from the Bible that the non-Christian world loves to point out the most and perhaps the one that most often presents Christians with a dilemma.

Non-Christians love this phrase because to them it means that Christians should accept them and their lifestyles without any judgment or condemnation. Christians stumble over it because they fear that showing love and kindness to someone who rejects Christ or who live a life of sin (according to Biblical principles) would be to approve of and encourage their unbelief and sinful ways and thus they often shun them. 

The problem is rooted in the understanding or misunderstanding of the concept of love.  The world sees it as the unconditional acceptance of who they are and how they choose to live and puts before the Christians the ‘unconditional love’ of Christ. For them, saying that their ways are wrong, is to judge and condemn them and to not show this unconditional love which, according to them, should be the attitude of any Christian because that was the attitude of Christ. When Christians shun non-believers or those living in sin, they are thus seen as hypocrites. 

Before we look at how Christians should apply the concept of love, let’s look at whether the world is right in how it wants this neighborly love to be applied.

I would like to start with the context in which ‘love thy neighbor’ appears in the Bible. In Matthew 22:36 Jesus is asked what the greatest commandment is in the Law. While the world loves to support the second one Jesus mentioned namely “love your neighbor as yourself”, it conveniently ignores the first: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Whilst they so eagerly stand on God’s principle of love, they reject His ultimate gift of love. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) Furthermore, they shun the One who gave His life for them – the epitome of love. 

If we want to know what ‘love’ means and what it would or would not entail and if we want to use God’s commandment and Jesus’ words, we should indeed look towards Jesus. In John 7:7 Jesus, referring to the world, said: “…it hates me because I testify that what it does is evil.” The Good News Bible gives it as, “…it hates me, because I keep telling it that its ways are bad.” There you have it. Jesus who was and is the epitome of God’s love for the world, did not hesitate to tell it that its ways are bad. His love for them would not have Him keep quiet as a doctor would not keep quiet if a patient of his followed a lifestyle that would inevitably result in bad health and death. His love was not a love that would accept their sins knowing that it would result in eternal death, but it was a love that brought and offered them truth and salvation. 

The world’s reaction today to God’s truths has not changed. As they hated Christ for speaking the truth, they hate Christians for speaking the truth. As they rejected God’s truths then, they reject them now.

Let us turn to the Christian’s obligation of loving thy neighbor. It is also as simple as looking towards Jesus. His sacrifice of love was indeed for all whether they would reject it or accept it. Any person who rejects Christ and lives a life of sin will find at the very moment when he repents and turns to Jesus, that Jesus’ sacrifice was sufficient to also forgive him his sins and give him eternal life. Jesus’ love was for all but only those who accept it and live by it and obeys and follows Him will reap its reward…eternal life. And those who rejected it will also reap their reward…eternal death.

In the same way as Jesus, Christians are indeed to show kindness and love to their neighbor and fellow man. Romans 13:10 says it simply, “Love does no harm to its neighbor.” That definitely means that in no way will I give death threats to any person living a sinful life. It definitely means that I will not harass or persecute him or withhold any justice from him. To the contrary. 

Yet, it also means that I will not withhold God’s truth from him. I will keep my own life pure and have no part in his sinful ways but continue to be salt and light unto my neighbor through the life I live and the testimony I hold of the hope that I have in Christ. No I cannot fight with my neighbor for gay rights or the right to abortion, in fact, I will fight against it. No I cannot partake in multi-faith services or Eastern philosophies and practices. No I cannot party and get drunk with him. No I cannot listen as he uses the Name of Christ in a profane way. No I cannot do anything that sets itself up against Christ, but I can share my bread with him when he is hungry. I can comfort him when he is sad. I can give him a lift when his car has broken down. 

‘Love thy neighbor’ is not a passport to justify any sinful life as it is not the stamp of approval on any sinful life. It is not there for the world to abuse and twist as to suit them while they shun the God who gave it as a commandment. And yes, it is a commandment that God’s people should live out each and every day as He gave His love to those who did not deserve it, including us.

God bless,

Lize

The greatest of these is love

Today I want to share the daily devotional from my Face Book page 'Growing in Christ with Lize Dumon'. (You can find the link at the top of my blog if you want to follow it.)


This is such an important message that I myself have to be reminded of on a regular basis. It is too important to miss!


Daily devotional for 2 February 2015:

"But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13)

 Whenever the Word of God spurs us on to love, that love is always directed at persons and at God. It is never directed at things. Yet, this morning I am reminded that often we do direct our love at things.

We spend a lot of time and money on obtaining and maintaining things. We can get caught up in beautifying, cleaning and sorting our ...houses. The same can be said of our gardens or cars or artwork or hobbies...they can all become extremely important to us taking up our time and energy...but it is kind of wasted time and energy in one sense because these things are dead.

Above my piano I have these words in a frame:

People more so than things need to be refreshed, renewed, restored and cared for.

People, not things, need love and people need love, not things.

Are you loving the people in your life with your presence, time, focus and energy?



I hope that you have been inspired and convicted today to go out and love and care for the people in your life!


God bless,

Lize

Be quiet and know I am God

 "...in quietness and trust is your strength".

(Isaiah 30:15)

Yesterday God showed me how difficult it is for us to be quiet and patient in trusting Him and He used an incident with one of my farm workers to do that.


Calvin and I both had to renew our licenses and had a joint appointment for that in town. When we were finished with our appointment, I went to the Spar shop to buy some groceries. Calvin decided to wait for me outside the shop at the car wash where some of his friends work. As I walked into the Spar, I remembered that I actually needed to run an important errand for my husband at the other side of town and decided to go there first and then rather buy my groceries at the Pick and Pay shop. I told Calvin that I was going to the other center but that he could stay at the Spar shop and chat with his friends. I told him that he must just wait there until I come back to fetch him. I finished all my errands, picked up my son who also had an appointment in town and went back to the Spar to pick up Calvin only to find that he was gone. We drove around and around the center to see if we could find him. I tried to call him but his phone just kept ringing. In the end, exasperated, I drove back home whilst keeping an eye out for him alongside the road. He was nowhere to be seen and he was also not back home. I was really worried as I joined my parents on a lunch date. It was only about half an hour later that I managed to reach him on his phone. He explained that when I didn't turn up after 45 minutes, he tried to find me and then took a taxi home. This cost him a lot of money and trouble!


God showed me that this is exactly what we so often do. Over and over He promises us that He will provide in our needs, guide our steps and help us yet, when we have to wait even a short while, we start running around making our own plans often to our own detriment. Then when God 'comes' we are not where we should be.


It is easy to say that we trust God but the proof is often in the waiting.


We pray for restoration of relationships or health, solutions to problems we face, direction and vision regarding plans, projects and decisions we have to make....and then God is silent. The problem is, the culture we live in does not allow for us to be still, to wait, to do nothing or to postpone decisions. We are expected to be ever visibly busy, purposeful and productive. Goals must be set, tasks must be done, solutions must be found, problems must be solved. Waiting is a big no-no.


And so we don't wait upon God. Instead we pour out our words; we rush into relationships and then we rush the relationships; we want loved ones and people to be instantly perfect; likewise we want sanctification to be an instant act rather than a lifelong daily process; we make hasty decisions; we undertake tasks and responsibilities we were not supposed to take upon us and get worn down; we panic, worry and lose hope and we rely on our own understanding.


We don't wait upon God and so we miss His quiet voice. In the process of running around we can't hear what He wants to teach us, say to us, show us or reveal to us. We run right pass the opened door and bump our heads against the closed one. We don't get still enough to receive His comfort. We're too busy to receive Him or to know Him and His purpose for us and our loved ones.


If there is one area in which I have a desire to grow, it is in quietness and trust in the Lord.


This year, it will be ok to not have a thousand goals or activities. It will be ok to say no or to postpone an action or a decision when I have not received a confirmation or direction from the Lord. It will be ok to be quiet and not give an instant answer to a problem. It will be ok to say no to the pressures of the world. It will be ok to just be still, spend time with the Lord and come to know Him and His presence in that stillness. This will certainly be a challenge but I am reminded of Jesus' words when He said that if we lack anything, we should ask the Father. In our weakness, we can ask the Father to give us the necessary patience, quietness and trust and we can know that He will do this for it is His will that we rest in His presence.


I will long remember my frustration yesterday because Calvin had to get home on his own because he did not wait for me as I told him to, when the whole purpose of us going together for our licenses was to save him the trouble and the cost of all this traveling as we live out of town and on a road that is not serviced by taxis and people often have to travel long distances by foot if they don't get a lift.


God is not against us, He is for us. His purpose is to prosper us, to give us a hope and a future. He cannot and will never forget us. We are His dearly loved children. Let us then learn to trust Him and patiently wait upon Him!


God bless
Lize