When my child is gay

What do we do when our children choose to follow a lifestyle we cannot endorse? What do Christian parents do when their children choose to follow a homosexual lifestyle, a lifestyle of sin according to the Word of God? We live in a time when many Christian parents’ hearts are broken and torn between their love for their gay child and their love for God and His law. 


Jesus said, “Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother…” (Luke 12:51-53)


When our children choose a path different from the way we showed and taught them according to the Word of God, we are in fact divided. This is heart-breaking to any parent. We cannot stand to be alienated or separated from our children. It is an unbearable situation. Yet, to Christian parents, it is also unthinkable to turn your back on God and His laws. Our children on the one side and God on the other – a real dilemma for many.


Often, parents have one of two reactions. Firstly, many parents do cut off their children. They will not speak to them again. They will not welcome them into their homes and they disown them. The pain that this causes both sides is immense. Secondly, parents often choose to change their interpretation of God’s law. They take the stand that the Bible is wrongly interpreted on the subject of homosexuality and that it is actually acceptable to God. By doing this, they don’t have to be divided against their children or against God anymore, they can be united to their child and to God. But God and His Word is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. We cannot change Him or His Word at our whim. His law is eternal. 


Then what is the right thing to do? What can a parent do is such a situation? The truth is that once you have trained your children in the way that they should go, it is up to them to make their own decisions. Proverbs 22:6 says that if we have trained them God’s way, when they are old, they will not turn from it. When it thus seems that our children have chosen against God, we pray and we trust as we continue to live a life of truth and worship God.


Furthermore, Galatians 5:22-23 says this: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Even when a child chooses a path against the law of God, let the Christian parent continue to do those things against which there is no law. Do not withhold love, be ever filled with joy and stay in His perfect peace, show patience, kindness and gentleness. Act with self-control and continue and be faithful in doing good also to your child.


As it is your child's choice to obey God's law or not, it is your own choice to continue to live our the life of holiness and love to which you were called or not. A wrong never rights a wrong but we fight evil with good.


My prayer today is for every parent who finds him or herself in this situation, that God will strengthen you and guide you and cover you in His abundant grace on this difficult road.
God bless

Lize

Supreme Court legalizes same-sex marriages: The Secret Power of Lawlessness

World-wide, an ever smaller group of Christians was once again upset when the Supreme Court in the United States of America ruled that same-sex marriages are now legalized in all 50 of its states, while human rights organizations celebrated this as a victory for humanity.

While for me, as a Christian, the increasing acceptance and legalization of a homosexual lifestyle is truly upsetting, it is not that surprising or baffling. Indeed it is the realization of what Paul warned against in his letter to the Thessalonians:

“For the secret power of lawlessness is already at work; but the one who now holds it back will continue to do so till he is taken out of the way. And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will overthrow with the breath of his mouth and destroy by the splendor of his coming. The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with the work of Satan displayed in all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders, and in every sort of evil that deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.”

(2 Thessalonians 2:7-12)

The key concept in this passage is lawlessness. The original Greek word ‘anomia’, used in this passage, indicates the condition of being without law because of being ignorant of it or because of violating it. It thus acknowledges the existence of a law that is not being obeyed and the results thereof, also indicated in the original meaning of the word, are iniquity and wickedness.

When Paul mentions the condition of lawlessness, he is not referring to the violation of (good or bad) man-made laws but the violation of the law of God.  It is all about obeying and accepting the law of God or opposing and disobeying the law of God. Rightly so, he ultimately links this rebellion to God’s law to the work of Satan. The lawless one who will act in accordance to the work of Satan will ‘set himself up in God’s temple, proclaiming himself to be God’ (Verse 4).

This is Satan’s ancient desire - to be the great ‘I AM’. Isaiah 14:13-14 portrays this evil desire of his: 

“You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.”

This desire to be the great ‘I AM’ he passed on to mankind when, in the Garden of Eden, he tempted Eve with the thought of being ‘like God’ into first doubting and then disobeying His law. Since that day, man has set himself up against God and has rebelled against His law. In its place, man has put a new law – I am and I am entitled, and I am in my own right. In the absence of God’s law in their lives, these ‘lawless people’ are given over to the desires of their flesh. What they want, whatever pleases them becomes their right and their law. They claim the right to decide for themselves what is wrong and what is right, what is good and what is bad. This is true for the decisions they make regarding their relationships, whether it is ok to live together or not, have an extra-marital relationship or not. It holds for financial decisions – whether to pay a bribe or not, whether to pay the correct taxes or not. It affects all everyday life decisions. There is no more one standard. Each decides his or her own right and wrong. This is the effect of lawlessness.  

Lawless man even puts himself above God. In the face of one's human rights, one can now determine ‘what’ and ‘who’ you want God to be. And whatever whoever ascribes to God is accepted as right for him/her as long as it does not offend the right of anyone else. In such a climate there is no place for one specific Truth, Law, Name, Savior and God. 

Paul rightly also spoke of the ‘secret power’ of this lawlessness. It is powerful in its delusion. It is powerful in sounding so good and righteous. It is powerful in speaking to the desires of the flesh. It is powerful in the absence of any need for a sacrifice of self. It is powerful in promoting the ‘I’ above God.  And it gains strength as more and more people adhere to this new law of lawlessness honored as basic human rights and more and more people start to doubt God and follow the loud voice of the world.  

And therefore, as Paul says in 2 Thessalonians, because people have refused to accept God’s truths and laws, He has sent them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and be condemned. Romans 1:24 confirms:

“Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served created things rather than the Creator…Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another.” 

Let everybody who has ears, listens to what the great I AM says:

“Dear children, do not let anybody lead you astray. He who does what is right is righteous, just as he (God) is righteous. He who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work. No one who is born of God will continue to sin…”

(1 John 3:7-9)

While the world celebrates, let those who still hold to the truths of God be encouraged by the words of Paul at the end of 2 Thessalonians 2:

“So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you…May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.”