A new life, a new identity...

"...a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church."

(Ephesians 5:31-32)

In many countries, including South Africa where I live, it is the custom for a bride to take on the surname of her husband. Once you are legally married, you get a new name and you get a new ID document indicating your new name. I love this tradition. I think it shows something of God's intention with the union of two people in marriage.

"God created man as male and female with the capacity to know each other and to become one. The essence was and still is for a man and a wife to enjoy each other in love - they are companions, sharing their lives with each other and giving themselves to each other. Two individuals become united and interconnected in love. They become one. Two people from different families become one unit and start a new life together."
(from 'Bride Adorned')

I used to be Lize Barkhuizen, but upon marrying my husband, I became Lize Dumon. I was still the same Lize and yet I was also a different Lize! I did not as before my marriage, represent only myself or maybe my family of birth. I now represented a new family unit and this new family unit had its own way of doing things, it had its own rhythm. Though neither of us lost our individual identities, we now had a shared identity. In many cases, 'I' now made place for 'we' - in our house we liked to do things this or that way; we liked to go to Kruger Park for holidays; we attended a certain church; we handled conflict in specific way; we had a preferred way to spend our week-ends and so on. Our focus was less and less to forward our individual interests, but the interest of our new family unit, especially when children became part of that unit.

 

You see, though in many ways I was still the same and still acted the same and felt the same...these started to give way to a new way of acting and being. Lize Barkhuizen had to learn to be Lize Dumon. Lize Barkhuizen could be a bit selfish but Lize Dumon had to take into account the likings of her husband. Lize Barkhuizen had a home with her parents but Lize Dumon had to create a home for her husband and kids. Lize Barkhuizen could hide in a private relationship with God, but Lize Dumon had to become bold and share this relationship with her husband and very importantly her children. Lize Barkhuizen loved to be on her own immerged in a book, but Lize Dumon goes on fishing trips with her husband and three boys. Lize Barkhuizen stood for Lize Barkhuizen. The order in Lize Barkhuizen's life was - Lize and then parents and siblings. The order in Lize Dumon's life is - Jan, Lize, Francois, Dewald and Eben. You get my drift. I am still Lize...but I am now Dumon. In this new family unit that was formed, I could not stay Lize Barkhuizen. I had to fully embrace my new identity, my new life, my new future. And though my new identity came with my union in marriage to my husband...the change in me came with years of living within this unity. I had to learn so many things over the years...keeping house, handling conflict, raising kids...I am still learning after almost 21 years!

Dear friend, it is the same with us and Christ. Before we were united with Christ, we were sinners. We are all born in sin. We all start out as sinners...whether we are born into the Christian faith or outside of the Christian faith, we belong to the fallen race of the first Adam. We belong to the family unit of Adam who sinned and thus became a sinner. You and I could call ourselves Lize (use your own name) Sinner. It says perfectly who we were. People who lived according to our sinful nature, who determined right and wrong according to our sinful nature, who lived for self...sinful self.

Oh but there was such grace and love and mercy in God the Father! He offered Lize  and ......... (use your own name) Sinner a marriage proposal. He offered to marry us to His Son, Jesus Christ who Himself was willing to pay the highest bride price for us! We could leave behind our father's house (Satan) and start a new life with our Groom. We could put off the old self and leave behind the old identity ........ Sinner, and take on the identity of our Groom....Christ.

Lize Sinner cannot and will not be found in the Kingdom of Heaven. She cannot be united with Christ and continue to support the ways of her previous life...the ways of fallen Adam....the ways of Satan. No, she now identifies with her Groom...Jesus Christ and He offers her all He has...redemption, forgiveness, righteousness...holiness.

Is it even possible to take on such a new different identity? Yes, thanks to the redemptive work of Christ on the cross.

Is this instantaneous? Our new identity...yes, absolutely. From the moment that we accept His offer of love and give our hearts to Christ, He gives us His Spirit to show that we now belong to Him. Do we instantaneously know how to live our new lives? No. The Holy Spirit starts a process of sanctification in us and, as in our earthly marriages it asks a lifetime of learning and maturing into your role, this is a process that will continue until the day we pass on to eternal life.

"For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope - the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good." (Titus 2:11-14)

Oh, the love of our Groom! The love of Christ! Will I, because a work is still being done in me, cling to my old identity and name and be in this unity as Lize Sinner, showing an alliance to my father's house, with the fallen Adam and with Satan, or will I joyfully and with praise and with thanks take on the Name of my Groom, of my new Husband? And by taking the name of  Saint, will I not rather acknowledge the truth of the actual meaning of the word - 'now consecrated and separated and belonging to God'? I became Mrs Dumon upon legally marrying my husband and I immediately took on his name. I did not wait until I was perfect in 'being' his wife and the mom of his children...why...I would still not be able to call myself Mrs Dumon if that was the criteria!! I became Christ's bride upon accepting His offer of love and receiving His Holy Spirit. You have been given the right to call yourself His, also called a saint - consecrated and separated unto God. John 1:12 says, "Yet, to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God."

You have a new identity, a new unity, a new family...acknowledge that with praise. In Christ you are a saintly bride. Don't hesitate any longer to accept His Name and your new identity. In His sight, you are blameless...not yet made perfect...but accepted as His beautiful and much loved bride.

Until next week

God bless

Lize