Love thy neighbor even when you don’t like him?

It’s one thing to talk about loving thy neighbor as a concept but it is another thing altogether when faced with the reality of a ‘neighbor’ whom you don’t like or even despise. How do I love someone when everything he does is in stark contrast with the principles I believe in? How do I love my neighbor who is a drunkard and abuses his family? Even more problematic, how do I love someone who has harmed me or my loved ones? Is it really possible to do?

Well, the answer is yes and no. No it is not possible in the flesh. Our flesh lives by an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. It seeks vengeance and claims self-righteousness. Its fruit of hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions and envy makes it difficult to love even a loveable neighbor let alone one we can’t stand at all.

Yet in Christ, the answer is yes. When I belong to Christ and receive newness of life from Him, loving thy neighbor is no longer about who the other person is but about who I am in Christ. In Christ I am no longer led by my flesh and its desires, but by the Holy Spirit. The love I am now able to show my neighbor is not the fruit of the flesh but the fruit of the Spirit.

Jesus said that we should love one another, love our neighbor and even more…love our enemies. You might say ‘love’ is a strong word…perhaps too strong. I cannot possibly love someone who has harmed me or my loved ones in the same way I love my child or my spouse or my friends. Surely I can’t be best friends with such an offender!

Indeed no! But we can show the love set out in 1 Corinthians 13. It is not a love that asks of us to like anybody or to be best friends with anybody but it is a love that asks of us to crucify the self and allow Christ to shine through us. So let us go to 1 Corinthians 13 to see what this love is that we should and can show all our fellow men irrespective of how we feel about them:

Firstly, love is patient and love is kind. To be patient is to be longsuffering, to be patient in bearing the offenses and injuries of others, to be mild and slow in avenging, slow to anger and slow to punish. Kindness is an attitude shown in our actions and our words. Furthermore, love does not envy, does not boast and is not proud. Indeed we cannot look down on any other person because our righteousness is not ours but that of Christ. Love is also not rude or self-seeking. It is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs and does not delight in evil.

All of these are things we can show towards any other person irrespective of whether we like them or not, whether we approve of their lifestyle or not. Our actions are not determined by them or by our flesh but by the Spirit of Christ.

No matter how we feel about our fellow man, we must be of the same mind of Christ whose first coming was not to harm or judge but to teach and to save. When a Samaritan village would not welcome Jesus, his disciples asked Him if they could call for fire from heaven to destroy them but Jesus rebuked them saying: “For the Son of man is not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them.” (Luke 9:56) This should be our attitude as well. Not to destroy people, but to save people. We still live in the year of the Lord’s favor.

There is a time for everything and when Jesus returns, He will do so as the Judge and there will be a day of vengeance. But now it is our time to love our neighbor with the love shown to us by Christ. Not a love that ignores wrong, not a love that prevents justice but a love that is longsuffering and kind and that rejoices in truth rather than evil.

God bless,

Lize

Love thy neighbor

This is perhaps the one phrase from the Bible that the non-Christian world loves to point out the most and perhaps the one that most often presents Christians with a dilemma.

Non-Christians love this phrase because to them it means that Christians should accept them and their lifestyles without any judgment or condemnation. Christians stumble over it because they fear that showing love and kindness to someone who rejects Christ or who live a life of sin (according to Biblical principles) would be to approve of and encourage their unbelief and sinful ways and thus they often shun them. 

The problem is rooted in the understanding or misunderstanding of the concept of love.  The world sees it as the unconditional acceptance of who they are and how they choose to live and puts before the Christians the ‘unconditional love’ of Christ. For them, saying that their ways are wrong, is to judge and condemn them and to not show this unconditional love which, according to them, should be the attitude of any Christian because that was the attitude of Christ. When Christians shun non-believers or those living in sin, they are thus seen as hypocrites. 

Before we look at how Christians should apply the concept of love, let’s look at whether the world is right in how it wants this neighborly love to be applied.

I would like to start with the context in which ‘love thy neighbor’ appears in the Bible. In Matthew 22:36 Jesus is asked what the greatest commandment is in the Law. While the world loves to support the second one Jesus mentioned namely “love your neighbor as yourself”, it conveniently ignores the first: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Whilst they so eagerly stand on God’s principle of love, they reject His ultimate gift of love. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) Furthermore, they shun the One who gave His life for them – the epitome of love. 

If we want to know what ‘love’ means and what it would or would not entail and if we want to use God’s commandment and Jesus’ words, we should indeed look towards Jesus. In John 7:7 Jesus, referring to the world, said: “…it hates me because I testify that what it does is evil.” The Good News Bible gives it as, “…it hates me, because I keep telling it that its ways are bad.” There you have it. Jesus who was and is the epitome of God’s love for the world, did not hesitate to tell it that its ways are bad. His love for them would not have Him keep quiet as a doctor would not keep quiet if a patient of his followed a lifestyle that would inevitably result in bad health and death. His love was not a love that would accept their sins knowing that it would result in eternal death, but it was a love that brought and offered them truth and salvation. 

The world’s reaction today to God’s truths has not changed. As they hated Christ for speaking the truth, they hate Christians for speaking the truth. As they rejected God’s truths then, they reject them now.

Let us turn to the Christian’s obligation of loving thy neighbor. It is also as simple as looking towards Jesus. His sacrifice of love was indeed for all whether they would reject it or accept it. Any person who rejects Christ and lives a life of sin will find at the very moment when he repents and turns to Jesus, that Jesus’ sacrifice was sufficient to also forgive him his sins and give him eternal life. Jesus’ love was for all but only those who accept it and live by it and obeys and follows Him will reap its reward…eternal life. And those who rejected it will also reap their reward…eternal death.

In the same way as Jesus, Christians are indeed to show kindness and love to their neighbor and fellow man. Romans 13:10 says it simply, “Love does no harm to its neighbor.” That definitely means that in no way will I give death threats to any person living a sinful life. It definitely means that I will not harass or persecute him or withhold any justice from him. To the contrary. 

Yet, it also means that I will not withhold God’s truth from him. I will keep my own life pure and have no part in his sinful ways but continue to be salt and light unto my neighbor through the life I live and the testimony I hold of the hope that I have in Christ. No I cannot fight with my neighbor for gay rights or the right to abortion, in fact, I will fight against it. No I cannot partake in multi-faith services or Eastern philosophies and practices. No I cannot party and get drunk with him. No I cannot listen as he uses the Name of Christ in a profane way. No I cannot do anything that sets itself up against Christ, but I can share my bread with him when he is hungry. I can comfort him when he is sad. I can give him a lift when his car has broken down. 

‘Love thy neighbor’ is not a passport to justify any sinful life as it is not the stamp of approval on any sinful life. It is not there for the world to abuse and twist as to suit them while they shun the God who gave it as a commandment. And yes, it is a commandment that God’s people should live out each and every day as He gave His love to those who did not deserve it, including us.

God bless,

Lize